God is so good!

These two pictures are pictures that I have taken and developed for the purpose of working with Grant on words that we want him to say, or to say better. It is one of the many program activities that we do every day. We work on 8 new photos each week and this one is one of his for this week:

Grant says "paw" for "stop". I'm not quite sure how 'paw' is 'stop' but that is what comes out when he tries to say 'stop'. Stop is a word we use quite often and so I thought it would be a good word to work on for getting the /st/ sound going. Now for the reason of this post: This morning when we were working on his language photos, Grant looked at this picture and said while pointing to each letter, "ess, tee, o, pee!" I just sat there for a moment and was so encouraged by this for several reasons. First, he can recognize those letters. Second, he can say the name of each one. Third, he can say the names of them one after another without long pause or hesitation. But most of all, he had enough focus and attention to point and say each letter. This is so huge for him and a huge amount of progress for him! It made me realize that his focus and attention really is getting better and this encourages me so much.
I love that he is learning his letters and able to go from one sound to the next. Six months ago if I asked him to say three random words or sounds back to me, he couldn't do it. This is part of apraxia - not being able to flow from one word or sound to another very easily. So for him to say one letter after another is huge, speech-wise! And for his interest to hold is huge, too, for Grant!
I so vividly remember going to one speech therapist 2 1/2 years ago and her so candidly telling Joel and I that she simply could not work with him because of his lack of focus and attention. And Joel and I both know that in order to work on articulation, he really needs to be able to focus in on what we are trying to get him to say. She basically showed us her door and told us to come back after we have worked on improving his focus and attention. Not only did we leave very discouraged, but I was pretty depressed by it. I know she was right but it still was so hard to hear.
Honestly, it's moments like those that have been the hardest in accepting my son for who he is and for realizing that he isn't the child that I had hoped and dreamed about for months and years prior to entering parenthood. There's nothin' that can prepare you for having a kid with special needs. BUT the Lord is loving and kind AND faithful and he lifts me up when I am down. He gave me Grant for a very special reason and God is teaching so much through him. I can't imagine my life without him and I love him so much! When I think about knowing Christ, it's hard for me to imagine how parents of a special needs child make it who don't know the Lord.
So from now on I'm pretty sure that every time I look at a stop sign, I will remember the moment Grant and I had this morning, and it will encourage me to 'keep on keepin' on!' Isn't God good? He really is!